sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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