I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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