so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
