She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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