Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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