I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
