doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
