its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
