after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
