I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
