i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
