A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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