plz talk dirty to me
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
