is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
