Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
