NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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