Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
