There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Green mimosas i think yes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
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I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
