I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
