Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
