I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But break dance skills will only take you so far
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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