And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
