Only a mothe r could love this liver
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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