You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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