lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I love having hate sex.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
