420 ftw
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
