oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
