did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
