he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
