i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
