Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
