The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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