Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
