i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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