Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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