got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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