I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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