ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
The ass gains better be worth it
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