More tranny stories later!
this beer tastes like vomit already
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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