You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
