I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
