Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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