How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
