i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Randomize
