dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize