I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
