my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
