I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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