i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize