Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
