He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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