"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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