Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize