I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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