I'm gonna have a badass scar
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
