That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
