I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Randomize
