i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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