Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
