drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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