So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
