i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
