Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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