Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
