pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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