I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
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How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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