I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
