"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
