update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
