I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
