Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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