WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
