We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
