i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
