Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize